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Top 10 Best Jack Nicholson Monologues

By Tom Piccolo · October 25, 2013

Jack Nicholson’s poignant style of delivering a monologue has generated some of the most memorable moments in cinema.  His unique voice and commanding presence have an ability to transform a screenwriter’s words into riveting performances that give the audience an insight into the heart and soul of every role he portrays.  Whether it is truth, freedom, love, art or sanity, Nicholson tackles many of life’s grand subjects, using the character he creates to give perspective and insight.

10.  The Witches of Eastwick  (1987)

In this movie, Nicholson plays a horny devil that has been conjured up by three bored, sexually frustrated women in a small New England town.  To get him to back off, the three women create a voodoo doll, and proceed to torment him.  Realizing the odd happenings are perpetrated by his former lovers, Daryl Van Horne questions the creation of women in this battle of the sexes.

DARYL VAN HORNE:  Let me ask you — do you think God knew what he was doing when he created women? Huh? No shit, I want to know. Do you think he knew or do you think it was another of his little mistakes? Like earthquakes, and floods. Volcanos. Tidal waves. Just another little fuck-up in the divine plan. Like cancer. Do you think women are like that?  (Daryl gags and spits out feathers and grapes)  What's the matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Sure he does. We all make mistakes. 'Course, we make mistakes and they call it evil. God makes mistakes and they call it nature. So what do you think? Women. A mistake? Or did he do it to us on purpose? I'd like to know. Because if it's a mistake, maybe we could do something about it. Find a cure. A vaccine. Build up the immune system. Eat broccoli. Get a little exercise. Maybe that's all it would take. Twenty pushups a day and you'll never be afflicted with women again.

9.  Heartburn (1986)

With their marriage in tatters, this delivery room scene has Rachel (Meryl Streep) asking Mark (Nicholson) to tell her the story of their first daughter’s birth, as her obstetrician performs a caesarian section.

RACHEL:  Tell me about when Annie was born. Start when the doctor says there’s something wrong.

MARK:  The doctor took me aside in the labor room. Said there was something wrong. We were losing the heartbeat. Maybe the umbilical cord was around her neck. Then he went over to you and he told you that the baby was in distress. And you said “is our baby going to die?” And he said “I’m going to do an emergency cesarean.” And then we took you in the delivery room. You were very brave, and I was terrified. And I went out in the waiting room. And there was a man sitting across from me eating a sausage pizza. In a few minutes the doctor came and took me into the delivery room, there was Annie, making little noises.

RACHEL:  Like a little tiny dove.

MARK:  And they put her in my arms, and you woke up and said “is that our baby?”

RACHEL:  That was a great day

8.  Something's Gotta Give  (2003)

After an unsuccessful fling with Erica’s daughter, a heart attack brings together Harry (Nicholson) and Erica (Diane Keaton) in a romantic interlude that ends in heartbreak.  Another visit to the emergency room propels Harry to examine his passion for younger women, visiting all of his former lovers.  Finally, he pursues Erica, who was celebrating her birthday in Paris with the young doctor (Keanu Reeves) who first treated Harry.

ERICA:  Why'd you come here, Harry?

HARRY:  Because I realized what I was feeling for you, have always felt for you, was something I didn't understand, like a language I didn't speak…It scared me so I did what I do. I snuck away. Turns out the heart attack was easy to get over. You were somethin' else. (she's starting to melt)  And when I went to see all those women, I found out I was never really present for any of them. And something inside me at some point, had just…shut off. That's when I think my heart gave out and you saved me. I finally get what it's all about. I'm 63 years old and I am in love for the first time in my life. And that's what I came here to say.

7.  Batman  (1989)

At the Gotham Museum of Art, the Joker (Nicholson) unveils his new chemical creation, Smilex, to photographer Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger), who is lured to the museum under the guise of an invitation from Bruce Wayne. Smilex causes its victim to die laughing, leaving a bizarre frozen smile on their face.  

JOKER:  (with deep sincerity; into Vicki Vale's eyes)  Let me tell you what I've got in mind, Sweetie.  I was in the bathtub one day, when I realized why I was destined for greatness. You know how concerned most people are about appearances.  This is pretty, that is not. Well, that's all over for me.  In crime the passions ripen fully. Now I DO what others only DREAM of.  I do art, 'til somebody DIES. See??? I'm the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist!!!

6.  One Flew Over the Coo-Coo's Nest (1975)

At a group therapy session, McMurphy (Nicholson) wants to know why none of his fellow patients let him know that Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher) and the doctors could keep him institutionalized indefinitely.  He is shocked to find that most of the other patients are voluntary.

MCMURPHY:  Cheswick, you’re voluntary.  (Cheswick nods yes)  Scanlon.  (Scanlon nods yes)  Billy for Christ sakes you must be commited right?

BILLY:  Na, Na, No.

MCMURPHY:  Uh, Uhm, You’re just a young kid. What are you doing here? You aught to be out in a convertible, birddogging chicks and banging beaver, what are you doing here?  (the other patients laugh)  For Christ sake, what’s so funny about that?  Jesus, you guys do nothing but complain about how you can’t stand it in this place here and then you haven’t got the guts to just walk out. What do you think you are, for Christ sake, crazy or something? Well you’re not, you’re not, you’re no crazier than the average asshole out walking around on the street. And that’s it. Jesus Christ, I can’t believe it.

5.  The Shining (1980)

Jack Torrence (Nicholson) and his family take a position as winter caretakers for the snowbound Overlook Hotel. When Jack’s wife, Wendy (Shelley Duvall) suggest they leave the hotel to get medical attention for their son, Jack goes into a rage and delivers this threatening speech about responsibility.

 JACK:  Have you ever had a single moment's thought about my responsibilities? Have you ever thought for a single solitary moment about my responsibilities to my employers? Has it ever occurred to you that I have agreed to look after the Overlook Hotel until May the first? Does it matter to you at all that the owners have placed their complete confidence and trust in me, and that I have signed a letter of agreement, a contract, in which I have accepted that responsibility? Do you have the slightest idea what a moral and ethical principal is? Do you? Has it ever occurred to you what would happen to my future, if I were to fail to live up to my responsibilities? Has it ever occurred to you? 

4.  Prizzi's Honor (1985)

Hitman Charley Partanna (Nicholson) falls head over heels for Irene Walker (Kathleen Turner) at a wedding. Unbeknownst to him, she is also an assassin, and has stolen money belonging to Charley’s employer. Confessing his love for her, Charley instructs Irene in the difference between “love” and being “in love”.

CHARLEY:  Irene I gotta say it. I can’t sleep. I’m a grown man, middle aged maybe, even, but nothing, nobody in my life ever affected me anything like the way that you make me feel, I love you. That’s it. That’s everything. I love you.

IRENE:  I think I’m in love with you too, Charlie

CHARLEY:  Not in love. In love is temporary. Then you move onto the next in love. Everybody’s always falling in and out of love. I know this. I remember everything, I read about it in magazines. When you’re just in love, it’s just, wait a minute, a hormonal secretion which changes the sense of smell so as to affect somebody in a certain way.  That’s what in love is. Who needs it?

IRENE:  Love, I mean I love you, I think?

3.  The Bucket List (2007)

Edward (Nicholson) and Carter (Morgan Freeman) are diagnosed with terminal cancer. Unlikely roommates in the same hospital room, their common fate spurs them to collaborate on a list of the things they most want to experience before they die. Together they travel the world, one by one crossing the items off their bucket list. Carter is the first to pass away, and Edward delivers this eulogy at his memorial service.

EDWARD:  I don't know what most people say at these occasions, because in all honesty, I've tried to avoid them. The simplest thing is I loved him and I miss him. (taking out the Bucket List) Carter and I saw the world together. Which is amazing when you think that only three months ago we were strangers. I hope it doesn't sound selfish of me, but the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life, and he knew it before I did.

EDWARD crosses out: "HELP A COMPLETE STRANGER FOR THE GOOD." Beneath it, the last remaining task lies unfulfilled: "WITNESS SOMETHING TRULY MAJESTIC." The words on the page dissolve to a climber who arrives at the peak of Mt. Everest.

EDWARD (V.O.):  I'm deeply proud that this man found it worth his while to know me. In the end, I think it's safe to say we brought joy to one another.  And one day when I go to some final resting place and if I happen to wake up next to a certain wall with a gate, I hope that Carter is there to vouch for me and show me the ropes on the other side.

2.  Easy Rider  (1969)

By the light of a campfire, intoxicated lawyer George Hanson (Nicholson) clues stoned drifter Billy (Dennis Hopper) into the real reason why people are frightened of him, along with giving him a little insight into freedom.

GEORGE HANSON:  Oh, they’re not scared of you. They’re scared of what you represent to ‘em.

BILLY:  Hey man, All we represent to them, man, is someone who needs to get a haircut.

GEORGE HANSON:  Oh, no. What you represent to them is freedom.

BILLY:  What the hell’s wrong with freedom? That’s what it’s all about.

GEORGE HANSON:  Oh yeah, right, that’s what it’s all about, alright. But talking about it and being it that’s two different things. I mean it is real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. Of course, don’t ever tell anybody that they’re not free, cause they’re gonna get real busy killing and maiming to prove that they are. Oh Yeah, They’re gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it’s gonna scare ‘em.

BILLY:  Well, it don’t make them running scared.

GEORGE HANSON:  No, it makes them dangerous.

1.  A Few Good Men (1992)

This great monologue by Jack Nicholson (Col. Nathan R. Jessep) is delivered in response to questioning by defense attorney, Tom Cruise (Lt. Daniel Kaffee).  Jessep testifies at a court martial of two men under his command who are accused of murdering a colleague.  The monologue begins with a famously quoted line about truth.

KAFFEE:  I want the truth!

JESSUP:  You can’t handle the truth.  Son, we live in a world that has walls.  And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns.  Who's gonna do it? You?  You, Lt. Weinberg?  I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.  You weep for Santiago and you curse the marines.  You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives.  And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.  (beat)  You don't want the truth.  Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall.  You want me there.  (boasting)  We use words like honor, code, loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something.  You use 'em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it.  (beat)  I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to.