The Sorcerer’s Apprentice: Would Love To See Bruckheimer Conjure Up Something New

When walking out of Sorcerer’s Apprentice, one word came to mind. BLAH.  But why?  If I could turned this review in with simply the word, “Blah”, I would.  However, I think the suits would be mad at me. Why was it so “blah”?  Was it because it was too long?  Partially. Was it because it was based mostly on special effects rather than character development?  Maybe.  Was it because I’ve never really liked Nicolas Cage and the only movies of his that I enjoy are ones that are so awesome it would be impossible for him to ruin, aka Con Air (1997)? Probably.  Regardless, I didn’t like it.

The story itself left much to be desired, which is understandable when writers Doug Miro and Carl Bernard’s only other credit is Prince of Persia (2010).  As usual with Disney, they also brought in their ringer; Matt Lopez (Race to Witch Mountain (2009), Bedtime Stories (2008)) was in the process at some point to give us some quippy dialogue along with a subpar plot.  To make-up for the lack of story, character development, and follow-through, director Jon Turtletaub, threw himself into special effects and the post-production process.

After centuries of searching for “the one” who’s meant to inherit Merlin’s magical powers, Balthazar (Nicolas Cage) finds his apprentice in one Dave (Jay Baruchel).  But before Dave can even learn basic sorcery skills, the two are pushed into a full-on battle with Horvath (Alfred Molina), an evil sorcerer attempting to free an even more evil and powerful sorceress, Morgana (Alice Krige), so she can enslave the dead and take over the world.

As he did with She’s Out of My League, Jay Baruchel brings a breath of fresh air to what without him would have been an even more mediocre Disney movie.  His delivery and inherent awkwardness makes us not wonder, but simply wait and see when this kid is going to become a star.

However, the pre-established star, Jerry Bruckheimer’s golden child, Nicolas Cage, managed to bring nothing new to the table.  He, yet again, manages to skate by with little skill and find scripts with dialogue that is impossible for him to screw up (“Why couldn’t you just put the bunny back in the box?”).

I think the most accurate comparison I can make to Sorcerer’s Apprentice is that of National Treasure (2004), which I will full admit that I loved (and continue to love every time it is on FX).  The Bruckheimer, Turtletaub, Cage team did wonders in a story that by every turn gave us more and more surprises about the secrets that are literally right underneath our noses.  In Sorcerer’s Apprentice, on the other hand, we’re exposed to the world of magic, which is in no way kept a secret.  The special effects are big, loud and completely in your face.  This leads me to ask, why isn’t Balthazar concerned about his world being exposed to mankind?

What made National Treasure so cool was that after walking out of the theater, you probably thought to yourself, “Maybe the treasure is real and we just haven’t found it yet” (at least I did).  It was understated and mysterious.  Here, the filmmakers dove head first into the world of sorcery, leaving no stone unturned.  As New York City is filled with electrons, the only person to say, “Hey, isn’t this a little weird?” is Dave’s long-time crush Becky (Theresa Palmer), who quickly abandons her skepticism for a quintessential make-out session.

All in all, Sorcerer’s Apprentice doesn’t let us into the unknown world of sorcery, it doesn’t let the audience in a little secret that no one else knows about, it gives us, well, not to be completely insulting, but the Michael Bay version of Harry Potter.

1 out of 4 stars.  And the one has to be given to Jay Baruchel for being adorably charming, no one else gets it.