Interview: Jeff Greenstein

“Preston Sturges was a failed inventor who didn't write his first play till he was 30,” says Emmy-award-winning television writer/executive producer Jeff Greenstein (Desperate Housewives, Great State of Georgia, Will & Grace, Friends) when asked if writers should give themselves a certain number of years to “make it.” “On the other hand, (your writing) may stink,” Greenstein adds. “My advice is to keep at it until enough boyfriends or girlfriends dump you that you have to get a real job.”

When Greenstein first came to L.A., he and his then writing partner, Jeff Strauss, wrote years’ worth of spec scripts before getting – and selling – a freelance episode of a show. Greenstein had bills to pay in the meantime, so he worked…

…as a temp counting underwear returns at Bullock's. In the meantime, Greenstein advises, “Become a student of the (television) medium. Watch everything you can, read as many scripts as you can. Strive to find your own voice. Develop a writing discipline you can live with.” Greenstein and Strauss’ discipline paid off three years later, when they sold their first freelance television episode. Two years after that, they were staffed, and Greenstein has filled up a plethora of writing credits ever since, now adding director (Desperate Housewives) to his resume as well.

TSL spoke with Greenstein to discuss what it takes to make it as a television writer in Hollywood.

TSL:  So your first job out here was counting underwear…?

JG:  Yes. Counting returns at Bullock's. Then I tracked leaks for the Department of Water & Power. Then I was a claims processor at a Japanese insurance company.

TSL:  So would you recommend that route to others? If it worked for you… But in all seriousness, how long can – and should – one process underwear returns or track water leaks while waiting to be a paid writer, pursuing their true passion?

JG:  After a year out here, when I still didn't have any real traction in the business, I wrote to a friend, "Is there a difference between perseverance and not knowing when to quit?" The truth is that there isn't, and you won't know the difference until someone writes your biography. Preston Sturges was a failed inventor who didn't write his first play till he was 30. On the other hand, you may stink. My advice is to keep at it until enough boyfriends or girlfriends dump you that you have to get a real job.

TSL:  Did you always want to write for TV?

JG:  I (actually) wanted to be a director and only started writing screenplays 'cause I was waiting around for my directing career to begin. Then one day I discovered that TV scripts are shorter. That made me want to be a TV writer.

TSL:  All while moonlighting as underwear-counting, water leak specialist/claims processor. Very nice! So then how did you go from spec to staff…?

JG:  My partner and I wrote half a dozen spec scripts before snagging a freelance episode of The Charmings, followed by a Mr. Belvedere, a Charles in Charge and a Marshall Chronicles. This last script — even though the series was canceled before it was produced — got the attention of Marta Kauffman and David Crane, who were staffing the newly ordered Dream On, and after an excellent meeting with them, we were hired.

TSL:  Speaking of working on TV shows, do you think one being a writers' assistant or script coordinator (or working as an assistant at an agency) is worth it these days? Or is good writing just good writing, no matter what your day job is?

JG:  My first job in TV was as a writers' assistant on Matlock. (But) good writing is good writing — that's why they call it "good writing" — although there's no match for the education one can get from spending time in a high-quality writers' room. I was lucky to get staffed on a show while I still knew nothing, giving me the chance to learn on the job.

TSL:  What if one works a job without industry contacts? You know what that’s like… Do you think it's important they network with industry peeps in their downtime?

JG:  I hate the word "networking," I hate networking, and most of all I hate being networked. I prefer to have friends. The television business is like a college in that the friends you have when you start out — the "freshman class" — will tend to bubble up through the ranks at the same rate you do. In other words, your buddy who's currently answering the phone for the person who takes notes in meetings with the network president will be network president around the time you graduate to showrunning. So nourish those relationships and don't expect to jump from being a freshman straight to a Ph.D. because that almost never happens.

TSL:  Speaking of jumping from being a freshman straight to a Ph.D., I know you already told us how long you think a writer should give him or herself to "make it"… How long did it take you?

JG:  I sold my first freelance episode after I'd been out here three years. The Dream On job arrived after five — at a point when I was seriously considering quitting the business — and I've worked steadily ever since. So you never know.

TSL:  I know in writers’ rooms I’ve worked in, some writers would be adamant about marrying outside of the industry, while others preferred the opposite. So marry someone in the industry, or not?

JG:  I would suggest marrying someone you enjoy having sex with.

TSL:  Should one write every day?

JG:  One should. I do not, except when something's due, and then I write without fail every single horrible day.

TSL:  Advice you would give someone who wants to be a TV writer?

JG:  Become a student of the medium. Watch everything you can, read as many scripts as you can. Strive to find your own voice. Develop a writing discipline you can live with. And always choose good work and good people over good money. Also, never envy. It's not a meritocracy. And finally (this is the tough one): You will always be restless.