Final Destination 5: Death Delivers in 3D

Rarely does a film with the number five at the end of its title provide any cinematic brilliance that hadn’t yet been captured in the previous four installments. Then again, if you’re watching the fifth episode in any horror franchise, you shouldn’t be expecting anything other than more of the same. More fresh faces. More brutal deaths. And now, thanks to advances in technology, more dimensions. If that’s what you’re looking for, that’s exactly what you get with Final Destination 5.

The formula doesn’t veer away much from the original film’s premise – or any of the other entries – by having another (un)fortunate soul experience an extremely detailed, gore-soaked human massacre during a freak accident, in this case, a bridge collapse. Turns out it was all a premonition and they all manage to escape unscathed from their fates. Except Death has other plans. One by one, in the order that they had died in the vision, they meet their absurdly complicated demises in what ends up being elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque murder scenes, as if Death were some sadistic 13-year-old having fun setting these people up to be gruesomely slaughtered with impressive overkill, and then watching to see how it all happens. So, basically, we’re that teenage boy in this scenario, entertaining ourselves by waiting to see how someone can die while getting a massage.

While the first film was more of a suspense thriller, at this point in the series, things have taken a clear turn down the campy-comic route. And that’s really the only way to go with these things. We all know the routine and what we’re getting, so there’s no point in trying to create actual suspense through an intriguing plot. This time around we get all sorts of fun life-enders from screenwriter Eric Heisserer, like getting soaked in melted asphalt, Lasek eye surgery gone wrong, and a savage ending to a gymnastics routine. As the death scenes progress, the characters are faced with so many possible ways to die that it’s laughable, our enjoyment coming not from wondering if they’re going to die – they are – but which limb-shredding, nearly instantaneous method of un-living is going to usher them into existence’s offseason. And as far as delivering those goods, FD5 works.

Especially in 3D. The recently re-popularized film technique has plenty of lovers and haters, myself tending to fall into the latter category as a weak gimmick that gets tacked onto movies that have already been shot in 2D just as a way to get more butts in the seats. There’s also the issue of a darker-than-usual image plus you have to wear those glasses (although that’ll likely be a thing of the past in the near future), which tends to be annoying and pull you out of the whole experience. But, when it comes to gorefests like Final Destination 5, 3D really does work. You’re already cringing and squirming as a nail lands on a balance beam as a gymnast goes through her performance, much less when you have these different death-inducers poking out at you in the third dimension. Blood splatters and bone crushes get amped up that extra bit which is great for horror films, but it does make the jump from scary to funny. How can it not be anything but amusing when someone’s head literally explodes onto the screen, computer-generated gray matter dripping down that visual pane just in front of your eyes? It’s too absurd to be anything but.

Believability doesn’t have much place in the world of Final Destination 5. Neither does much plot development, although Heisserer does his best to fit in enough story points to keep things moving along at a nice clip. He also adds a new twist that gives the characters (I won’t bother you with their names or backstories since, c’mon, we all know that’s not what you’re watching this for) something new to think about while they’re trying to outrun Death: if they kill someone else, they get to live. Of course, that’s not quite as easily done.

It’s hard to say that there’s anywhere else to go with this franchise. Even though this latest one is essentially a prequel, there’s no major storyline or interesting villain or returning characters – except for the Coroner played by the inimitable Tony Todd – from movie to movie like you’d find in the Saw series. Then again, the only things needing an update in each sequel are the character names and the way they get offed. That’s the formula, and it’s worked this far. High art it’s not, nor does it want to be; it’s simply gory fun.