Apollo 18: Found Footage Horror

You know what Apollo 13 was missing? Everyone dying.

Would this have been as satisfactory a conclusion? Would it have tugged at heartstrings and inspired a generation of Americans, and perhaps the world, to rally together? No. Not unless we’re talking Watchmen scenarios. But there’s something about Kevin Bacon where… well, come on. You want to see him perish by alien “hands” in as brutal and confusing a manner possible. Amiright? No? Then you can skip Apollo 18.

But if you agreed with me, and you believe in the cinematic possibilities of watching the Bacons of this world get fried, then Spanish director Gonzalo López-Gallego has your fix.

Apollo 18 is a found footage horror film. Right off the bat, I know I’ve lost most of you. And you’re not wrong. My strangely forgiving soft spot for the genre isn’t widely shared. I probably enjoyed Paranormal Activity and REC more than you. One of my favorite films ever, Man Bites Dog, is even technically a part of this genre.  I’ll champion anything that allows filmmakers without the financial means to tell the stories they want to share with the world. But the genre comes with severe limitations: an almost annoyingly rigid act structure, oft-repeating jump cuts, poor visibility, unknown actors, realistic but terrible dialogue, and the near guarantee of a predictably lame resolution.

And Apollo 18 suffers from all these problems, except maybe for the unknown actors part, which counts both for it and against it. Warren Christie and Lloyd Owen deliver strong performances as the film’s leads, but work against its found footage believability when they are both recognizable faces.

The film opens with a text scroll, explaining how the final Apollo missions had been canceled, but in 2011 someone uploaded 84 hours of footage to a website called Lunar Truth, and this film has been cut together from that footage. You want to pull your audience out of a film? Make sure to drop your website not only in the opening credits but again JUST AFTER the movie’s final moments.  Yes, I remember the web address they listed, but I’m sure as hell not linking to it from here, out of principal. Also, hypothetically, you could go there and watch a version of the film that’s 56 times longer. You explore and let me know.

We meet the three man astronaut team. They’re selected for a top secret DOD mission, which means not even their families know they’re headed up. The rocket takes off, they have some fun in zero gravity, the two main characters head down to the moon’s surface to run two days of experiments, they set-up the flag, they drink some Tang, they go into a crater—HOLY CRAP WHAT WAS THAT?

From that point on, this film should’ve been a pulse pounding experiment in fear, the likes of which no audience member could walk away from un-shattered. But it just never comes. We stay slow, and plodding, and keeping the “monster” in the shadows long after we’ve all figured out exactly what they’re up against. You can’t do much in the way of body-count with only two main characters, but the number of times they’re placed in genuine danger, or even fear for their situation, is so limited it feels like a waste of the concept. You’re on a planet that can literally kill you, surrounded by “things” that are trying to, and kept alive by experimental technology from 1974. Yeah. There were a lot of missed opportunities here.

Apollo 18 still does more right than it does wrong. Using radio static a la Silent Hill to announce the presence of the Other means you can’t tell the constant radio background static from the screams of some unholy abomination. Also, like Silent Hill, the foreign director allows a few too many painfully unconvincing lines through, but more than makes up for it through excellent shot selection and gorgeous production design. The two films run very parallel, but there’s much worse you can do.

It’s not a fun movie, with no laughs or relief to be had, but it does what it set out to do, then gets out. It’s also rare to be able to credit actors for excelling within the confines of this genre, so kudos to the two of them. Is it worth your time? Sure, if it’s the kind of thing you’d be interested in regardless, but it surely won’t convert anyone else.