Goon: Laugh-Out-Loud Lovable Violence

The year was 1999. I was about to graduate from high school when I heard about Office Space. I didn’t know a thing about it since it wasn’t getting hardly any publicity except that it was the feature film debut from the creator of Beavis and Butthead. So naturally, I had to see it. My buddy and I, who cried laughing all the way through, were only two of four total people in the theater. And the other two hated it. I know because they were classmates of mine on a date, and they said so as they were walking out, which just left us baffled. We couldn’t help but wonder if we had seen two different movies because no way anyone could think it sucked. Turns out we were in the minority since the movie tanked, hard. It was only once it hit home video (yup, they still had VHS tapes in circulation back then) that Office Space became the oft-quoted cult classic that most of us now know and love today.

Okay there’s a point to this story, and it isn’t about me claiming that I loved Office Space long before it was cool to do so. This is about another cult classic comedy in the making that will likely be completely ignored at the movie theater – if people even know it exists. (Honestly, has anyone seen a trailer for this on TV anywhere? Because I haven’t.) And it’s a damned shame because Goon is a laugh-out-loud, endearingly violent crowd pleaser that deserves much more love than it’s currently getting.

Seann William Scott is instantly loveable as Doug “The Thug” Glatt, the black sheep of a family of Jewish doctors who just has never found that “thing” to do with his life. While his father and brother both had the brains, Doug ended up with all the brawn, which has led him into the wonderful world of bar security as a professional bouncer. But unlike other meatheads we’ve seen, Scott’s Doug is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. Despite being able to break other men’s fists with his own forehead, I’d even describe Doug as gentle, as evidenced when he meets his love interest, Eva (Alison Pill), at a coffee shop and brings her flowers, chocolates, and a stuffed toy (which is actually the mascot for his minor-league hockey team).

Yet Doug has a gift: he can fight anyone. Though, for most of his life, it’s hardly been looked on with anything but the shameful reminder that he’s not like the rest of his family. It’s only when his hockey-obsessed, foul-mouthed best friend, Ryan (Jay Baruchel, who also co-wrote the script with Evan Goldberg), videotapes Doug beating up a local hockey player that someone sees his pugilistic abilities as something worthy of awe and respect. That someone happens to be the coach of the fledgling local hockey squad, who offers Doug a chance to be on the team. Despite showing up to practice wearing figure skates – and barely able to stand on the ice – Doug makes the team for one reason: to be the guy who protects his teammates by fighting whoever needs fighting. This is a role Doug is surprisingly qualified for because, even though he’s one of the calmest, friendliest guys you’ll meet – here’s a guy who thanks his biggest rival, Ross Rhea (Liev Schrieber), for asking him if he’s ready to fight, so you can imagine how nice he is to his actual friends – he’s also the toughest (I won’t give away the ending, but it’s almost equally as cringe-worthy due to the amount of blood as it is cheer-inducing.). And that loyalty to his teammates makes him one of the best enforcers, one of the best goons, on the ice.

Baruchel and Goldberg craft an extremely charming sports flick, which, since it’s about hockey, can already lay claim to being one of the best in the genre, right up there with Slap Shot and Happy Gilmore – of course there are so few other ones that this might seem like a back-handed compliment, but I assure you it’s not. And while the script is excellent – richly drawn characters, tons of laughs, well structured – much of the film’s success should also go to director Michael Dowse, who made the Canadian indie flicks Fubar and Fubar II: Balls to the Wall, and most recently, his Hollywood debut, Take Me Home Tonight. While the latter was a box office bomb and a rough experience for Dowse (after developing the film as Kids In America, the studio took control of the film, leaving him uninvolved in the final edit), Goon is an excellent rebound full of what Dowse superbly provides in his other flicks: flawed yet loveable main characters. He knows how to make you truly root for these guys – in the case of Goon, Doug, of course, but also all of his wacky teammates on the Halifax Highlanders hockey team – and tops it all off by being more than adequate at shooting an exciting hockey game, complete with fist fights, body checks, pucks flying over a outstretched gloves…

Despite the fact that I would enforce Goon as a good movie, it’s really not very surprising that a movie about minor-league hockey set in Canada would get short shrift by the marketing department here. Not in this country where football reigns supreme and you’re lucky if you can even catch a game between the Penguins and Flyers on Versus Channel. But, like most good sports movies, you don’t need to be a huge hockey fan to love Goon. You just need to be a fan of good movies.