Sacrifice: Avoid this Crap-Fest at All Costs

  It is such a shame when a movie is terrible. You might see a preview with an actor you like, and visually it looks somewhat competent, so you try not to watch the preview too closely as you want to experience the movie with fresh eyes—you don’t want any surprises ruined by the trailer. And so you go, and you see the movie, and it is just awful. It’s a one-dimensional, unoriginal, cliché-ridden, boring piece of crap. And you just shelled out a minimum of ten bucks for the privilege. This is the worst-case scenario with new movies, and this is exactly what just happened to me with writer/director Damian Lee’s new film Sacrifice.

Of course, my best friend Ginge would say that she would have seen this coming from miles and miles away. The story is about how tough undercover cop John Hebron (Cuba Gooding Jr.) gets roped in to fighting with a drug boss when dealer Mike (Devon Bostick) leaves his little sister at the daycare that John’s friend Rachel (Athena Karkanis) runs. You see, Mike is trying to leave the cartel, but he needs to hide his sister for a little while so he can finish some business before they can skip town. And if that wasn’t confusing enough, John’s back story involves the murder of his family because he crossed a drug boss years earlier. And I’m still not sure if the drug boss he crossed is the same drug boss he’s dealing with now. And on top of that, there’s a priest named Father Porter (Christian Slater) who is ex-Special Forces. This character seems to have been randomly sprinkled into the mix. All of his scenes could have been cut and it wouldn’t have made a difference, which is a shame because his scenes were some of the more interesting ones in the film…and I’m being generous with the adjective “interesting.”

But you can see where my original excitement stems from, right?(this is right where Ginge would roll her eyes at me) But it seemed promising. Jaded cop Cuba Gooding Jr. and faithful priest Christian Slater team up to fight crime and kick ass… it could’ve been one of those awesome action movies that really hits the good/bad sweet spot dead on. But instead it’s the same straight-to-video drawn-out schlock that we’ve all seen before. In fact, I would have rather watched some of Van Damme’s crappier movies than sit through this…and that’s really saying something as there are some terrible Van Damme movies.

The main problem in this movie was twofold. First, it took for granted that I would give a crap without really making me feel for the characters. There was a lot of back story montage and some “this is why you’re supposed to empathize” shorthand (such as: wow, this dealer has a relative, feel bad for him), but we weren’t transported into any of the character’s stories. The other problem with this movie is its extreme one-dimensionality. There was no depth whatsoever. I’ve seen more artistry and character development in television commercials. That’s not to say that drug&gun movies need depth, but they at least need innovative action, characters you can empathize with, and new, visually interesting ways of killing/fighting/sexing/etc. And there was none of that in this film.

And on top of all the crappiness, there were a few points that really just pissed me off. First, every man in this film sounded like he was huffing helium right before each take. Maybe they used the wrong boom microphones or something, but it was like a freaking chipmunks convention up in here. Secondly, Christian Slater’s character, Father Whatshisname, rolls his eyes when a lady asks for him to hear her confession and also when talking to a senior collegue, says “I think the church has bigger problems to worry about” as a justification for some minor offense. I believe this quote is in reference to the pedophilic priests scandal. It’s just disturbing to see a man of the cloth so snide in regards to his sacred trade and duties. The character would have been much more likeable and interesting if he had been true and sincere.

But all the things I’ve mentioned so far were the actual “interesting” bits. The mainstay of the film is either this young dealer kid boringly trying to get out of the drug business or it’s the undercover cop boringly being emotionally messed up over the death of his family.

Avoid this movie at all costs. And if you feel like you need to see some sort of religious/drug war cinema experience, do yourself a favor and just watch a double feature of Lethal Weapon and Stigmata instead. Or just catch Machete, that’s a great example of bad action done right. You will save yourself from the loss of brain cells that would be guaranteed if you were to watch this piece of crap.

Sorry Cuba, Sorry Christian. I really wanted to like this movie, and I just couldn’t. Please choose a better script next time.