Childrens Hospital: Season 3 Finale

So, the season three finale of Adult Swim’s Childrens Hospital—there is really not much I can say about this finale that would make much sense because this show doesn’t make much sense… on purpose… because it deals with seriously attractive, serious doctors… serious American ex-pat doctors… in Brazil… in a childrens hospital… seriously.

Yes, the absurdist humor of Childrens Hospital goes beyond—way beyond. Compared to this show, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! seems linear and logical. Now, Adult Swim has brought us so many weirdities—Saul of the Mole Men,Perfect Hair Forever,Aqua Teen Hunger Force,Archer, the personified ass-detective show known as Assy McGee, you name it—and Childrens Hospital fits right in. It’s all of the mentally vacant tropey stylings of all those medical dramas we know and love/hate so well, but without any of the substance.

Pop quiz. What’s the best way to save a child drowning in quick sand? These doctors don’t miss a beat when they’re confronted with that exact same situation earlier in the season. First, they contain the quicksand around the child with a wooden box-like structure, and then they transport him to the hospital and cover him in cat litter to dry things up. But when the cat litter starts to harden, crushing his organs, and the poor boy keeps sinking… well, I don’t want to ruin what happens next. But as you can see, this here is a sexy, talented, sexy bunch of competent child-doctors competently being competent… sexily.

Just like last season’s finale, the season three finale is not an actual episode of the show, but rather a Hollywood Reporter-style show that covers what the actors have been up to. This time each character gets their own medical drama spin off, and we watch as the actors playing the doctors spiral out of control as each of their medical dramas tank. While this is amusing, the series seems to have tapered off from some of its better moments earlier in the season. For example, episode 12 focuses on Chet (Brian Huskey), an ambulance driver. He, like all men, is hopelessly in love with Chief (Megan Mullally), a smoking-hot, irresistible, overly-handicapped doctor. He tries to ask Chief out, but before he can make the moves on her bent and decrepit form, two things happen. A worried mother starts waving a gun around the hospital demanding that someone fix her daughter, and the doctors let Chet know that he is an unliked “bald dildo.” The rest of the episode focuses on Chet. How is he going to build up the confidence to woo his lady-love? The fact that the hospital is under siege by an armed and enraged mother is completely ignored.

So, despite the lackluster finale, I urge you to watch up people. If you are baffled or nauseated, the show is most likely not for you. But if your look of confusion melts to amusement, and then you start giggling for no apparent reason, I think you can safely call yourself a fan.